Saturday, September 03, 2005
-yanhui(:
I think I'm starting to get a lil cranky nowadays. Wonder what's wrong with me. Anybody care to tell me why? Nevermind. Don't bother answering.I don't wanna be stuck at home on a saturday night. Cos it's starting to get a lil freaky every night in my room. Sometimes, I feel something is looking. Everytime, I will try to brush that aside and run to my parents' room and only to be greeted by the absolute silence that surround me. They are always not there. What exactly is a family? I can't seem to define da word " family " at all. With a dad that is always overseas working and a mum that is out almost every night singing with her friends. And even if she's not out singing, she will be home late from work.Surrounded by four walls. And silence seems to engulf me everytime I need someone. When I need to be alone, and when I really need some peaceful moments, my mum will just suddenly appear and start nagging at me for some god knows reason. Apparently, this is da reason why I always stay out. This is da reason I always wanna go out. This is da reason why I hate my mum sometimes. And this is da reason... Why I hate home.I just need someone to understand.. To really know what I'm going thru now. Someone who have been thru this. Not that I'm desperately trying to seek attention. If you think I'm really trying so hard to seek some stupid attention... Den you're so wrong. That's why I tend to talk so much to my friends. I don't talk much at home, mind you. Like there's someone fer me to talk to at home anyway. So, I hafta vent everything out and talk about everything and anything under da sun to someone I'm close to. Noisy? Perhaps that's da reason.Like a waif kid. Having a father like having none. Having a mother whom appears at da wrong time. Woah, kinda rhymes eh. Told you I'm cranky nowadays. Bah!That's why that inner part of me seems to appear to be fiery-tempered, a care-less attitude, unreasonable character. It's not like I want that...It's just that, I don't wanna let people know how vulnerable I actually am. And I guess close friends around me have already spotted that. My achilles heel - I'm an emotional wreck. Yes, and I cry easily.
And dear is currently going thru some difficulties at home too.. I'm not gonna elaborate much on it. Just hope he won't " sigh sigh " anymore. Although he said he's fine now. But, I know it will still bother you sometimes. But, whatever happens.. I'll always be there fer you. Don't make any hasty decisions yea?
I think, I'm like writing a compo can. LOL!
____________________________________________________________________Probably meeting up with them to sing later in da afternoon. Perhaps. But, my silly boy is not going, he has gotta go to his sister's chalet. So, shall I go and sing or not? It's seriously getting real boring. Just went to sing on wednesday can? So, shall I go or not!?I don't like it when I get so indecisive. I don't like it too, when they gets indecisive, whether to go or not, or meeting what time. I hate it when everyone shows their pattern by saying : " He go, I go. He never go, I never go. "They ought to be shot. If I have a gun with me, and killing is not a crime, I'll definitely gun them down if that stupid sentence comes out from them. Excluding my darling, of cos. LOL!; I will miss you during this 2 days. Promise me, you will too? *-YANHUI(:
; best
friends* 1:01 PM
